Kimi Kärki + Hipster girl = match made in heaven !

Our beloved reluctant artist Kimi Kärki briefly resurfaced recently in a YouTube video where Hipster Doom girl Sarah Kitteringham covers Finnish Doom:

Sarah is a lovely person. She owns lots of vinyl records that have all been released in the last 5 years, spends more time plaiting her hair than checking who actually sings in Minotauri (one of her favourite bands, yay!) and talks at length about things she doesn’t know. She’s basically a female Albert Witchfinder. No wonder she and Kim get along so well…


The stories behind the songs: Lord Vicar’s “A Woman Out of Snow”

Here’s a video of Kimi Kärki performing at the Doom Over Scania festival a coupla months ago. Lord Vicar were booked to play, but three of their members got sick while in London (some sort of sorcery, no doubt), and so generous Kimi “offered” to play a solo gig instead.

They wouldn’t have him otherwise.

Before he launches into this masterpiece of modern folk, Kimi relates the story behind the song, the full band version of which will feature on Lord Vicar’s forthcoming album “The Gates of Flesh”.

Four things we learned from this video:

1. Kimi rips off Amorphis for lyrical subject matter. But he attributes it to their common ancestry and his extensive knowledge of the Kalevala. Probably.

2. Albert Witchfinder has copulated with frozen water. We could feign surprise, but we can’t be bothered.

3. No one sings the lyrics along with poor, poor Kimi. Of course, one could claim that this is due to the album not being out yet, but go ahead and check out other videos of Kimi playing “solo” and let us know if you find one with audience participation.

4. Kimi closes his eyes while he sings, but opens them in order to hit those difficult harmonics at the end. Oh well. Once an emotional virtuoso, always an emotional virtuoso.

Enjoy the video, and join us again once the album is released. Ho ho ho.


Massive Tähtiportti video update!

Problems at work? Arguments at home? Did your goldfish just die? Worry not, as  Albert Witchfinder is on hand to cheer you up… Because who doesn’t want to see the guy who wrote “Doom over the world” rap the Malleus Maleficarum over a Casio?

We saved the best for last… A new, official, Tähtiportti video:

Since the album has not sold as well as expected (which wasn’t a lot to begin with), the budget was much lower this time, so instead of a highly conceptual video, they simply used stock footage. Which is obviously more esoteric and reclusive, eh?

How long until the Tähtiportti album joins Opium Warlords in the bargain bin? Answers on a postcard…



Kimi Kärki wants an MTV award !

In a move that totally does not reek of jealousy at his ex-bandmate’s video success earlier this year, Lil’ Kim has turned to video directing, for Uhrijuhla’s “Uhrilehto”, now available on renowned retirement label for ex-members of Reverend Bizarre, Svart Records.

While we can only imagine the unknown pleasures he discovered by following around a girl with a camera, or standing still to film foliage, Sweet Kim still took things to a new level by appearing in the video himself, as a wild man of the forest. Cue creepy looks and pulling faces.

Enjoy the video, and don’t forget to buy the album, so it doesn’t end up in the bargain bin, with Sami’s.




Sami Albert Hynninen in Video Shocker !

Sami Albert Witchfinder has taken time off being a recluse to front tenth-rate The Knife ripoff band Tähtiportti (named after MacGyver’s sci-fi epic), who have just released their first official video, conceptually based on Albert’s habit of sniffing used panties he bought off the Chilean ebay.

Aside from his melodious voice, Albert himself appears in the video as the reclusive hobo in the army camouflage jacket.

Enjoy the video, while we try to establish if the enormous girth in the footage belongs to infamous mouth-stuffer Kimi Kärki or they used a body double…