Not content with the money he’s raking in from half-price Opium Warlords albums and Reverend Bizarre “slightly improved” reissues, fantastic wizard Sami Alberthas founded a new band, named after the only thing he has ever loved (besides money and pi**ing on his fans)…
True to his artistic vision, his new band’s first release, a song under three minutes in length, was made available to his loyal fanbase for a measly 69 euros… Not even 70! And still cheaper than Magick With Tears!
Although, to be fair, the website does give you the option to pay “more”… Which you should!
You are not a real Sami Albert fan unless you cough up! I mean, where else can you purchase True Art lovingly created under TOTAL CONTROL!?
On a sidenote, does anyone know where we can buy one of those t-shirts with Sami’s “Reverend Bizarre is the most mainstream thing I will ever do?” slogan? We need like a dozen for a party we’re organizing…
Wonder boi Sami Alberthas once again taken to the facebooks to alert his fans (ho hum) about an impressive price decrease on his Opium Warlords album “Taste My Sword of Understanding”…
We did follow the link to the Svart shop, where our jaws dropped at the realisation that the price had actually been almost halved:
Whereupon, dear readers, we raged at this incredible injustice!
Why should a respectable label have to release parp that no one wants to buy, thus forcing them to significantly lower the price?
Why should a true artist, like Sami Albert, who insists on TOTAL CONTROL, have to suffer the indiginity of such a disinterest in his work, his labour of love?
And, most importantly, why are there still copies available, two weeks after such an insulting reduction?
Times are hard for True Art, dear readers…
Alas, further confusion awaited us, as we noticed the slight difference in the discount between the black and gold vinyl versions:
We staggered in response, as, to us, all of Sami’s work is gold, and also black. Decidedly black!
Please, dear readers, we implore you, empty your pockets and purchase those rare, sought-after items on offer, those fine specimens of Great Art, produced under TOTAL CONTROL!
Let no copy henceforth gather dust on the cold shelves of the record label’s storage unit.
Allow this labour of love to bring hope and enlightenment to your homes!
Let the sounds therein fill you with awe and wonder!
Help poor, poor Sami make some money…
After much discussion and adjudication, our panel of experts have agreed, unanimously!
Every home should have one!
Read and learn from sacred scripture of a true master on the subject:
He meditates under the big vulva in the sky on a daily basis, you know…
while you are surrounded by family
please spare a thought
less fortunate ones,
who play gigs to no one.