Summertime, and the livin’ is easy, Tamara is rich and your facebook is good-lookin’…

Apologies for the slight delay since our last post, dear readers, but those of us who don’t mind going to the beach often find our priorities shifted and our time consumed easily.

Unlike blog sweetheart Sami Albert Hynninen, for example, who is busy planning the mixing sessions for Opium Warlords’ “Droner”, an album three years in the making…

That long gestation period places it in a contest with that other special release by Alberto’s former best mate Dicky Tosser from Yorkshire, who is also working on an album for a few years now (it sez here!), and of course Lord Vicar’s “The Gates of Flesh” vinyl version, which has been foretold of for over a year now and still hasn’t materialised… Let’s see who wins the golden trophy among our noble competitors. Our money is on Kimi, seeing as he’s slimey and quick despite his considerable size.

Besides his hard work on “Droner”, Sami also found time to oversee a hand-bound reprint of “Tabula Obscura”, a comic book he co-authored with some other guys:

 

Priced at just 90 euros plus postage (which should be hefty in itself, judging by the book’s size and paper quality), it’s a veritable steal for punters, Reverend Bizarre fans with more money than sense, and those of you looking for tinder paper for your Summer Solstice (today, yo!) bonfire…

It’s unverified, but we have received reports that the impressive volume is lovingly hand-bound and shipped by Tamara and Pato, Sami’s best friends and business associates.

Please, place an order, dear readers, and be part of Sami’s “Get Rich Quick” scheme!

You can be assured of the quality of the book, because Sami Albert likes to maintain TOTAL CONTROL over whatever he pushes for you to buy:

 

Something that has worked well for Sami so far, except for that Reverend Bizarre “Magick with Tears” 2LP, the KLV “Niin Musta on Maa” compilation, the March 15th “Our Love Becomes a Funeral Pyre” EP… You sort of see where we’re getting at. So. TOTAL CONTROL. In ALL CAPS, to ensure you believe it.

Reserve your copy of this TOTALLy CONTROLLed Collector’s Item today, so Sami can think about maybe going to the beach after all. The one in Lohja, beside the dumpster and the drunk hipsters.

More news on ex-members of the Bizarre Reverend coming soon, we promise, as all camps have been busy and we are delighted to report on such splendid folk!

Happy Summer Solstice, everyone!

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Summertime, and the livin’ is easy, Tamara is rich and your facebook is good-lookin’…

Breaking news! Tähtiportti CD leaves the Svart office!

It’s great news this week, since we received confirmation that at least one CD of Tähtiportti’s debut album has actually left the record label’s storage space, as Opium Warlords conducted a truly amazing competition on their facebook page…

opium5

Congratulations to the winner! Will he spin it in full before putting it on ebay, we wonder?

Breaking news! Tähtiportti CD leaves the Svart office!

Why buy just once, when you can buy twice? [vol.1]

Sami Hynninen and his lovely friend Jari (aka Earl of Void) have re-released their KLV ep for Record Store Day 2015 (that was yesterday)… Although all the material included had already been available on “Niin Musta On Maa”, the CD that many, many Reverend Bizarre fans ordered from Sami’s good friends in Chile, but few actually received, or saw a refund for.

klv

 

So, now that good and kind Sami has decked his faraway friends with enough cash to live the good life and take annual trips to the Roadburn Festival with, the time has finally come for the artists to make some money as well…

You can reward Sami and Jari for getting you ripped off and then saying they had nothing to do with it by buying KLV’s “Valkeus” ep from Levykauppa X:

http://www.recordshopx.com/svart_records/single/klv/valkeus/

which also sells the original Emissary records CD:

http://www.levykauppax.fi/artist/klv/niin_musta_on_maa/

So, which one should you go for? Hmm, decisions, decisions… Get them both, we here at DWA say… Nothing is as fulfilling as lining the pockets of greedy irresponsible “artists”.

Why buy just once, when you can buy twice? [vol.1]