Celebrating 43 years of a noble and dignified life…

Join us, dear readers, as we once again turn the spotlight on a wonderful creature…

Kimi Kärki, formerly known as Peter Vicar, the frontman of Reverend Bizarre, Orne, E-Musikgruppe Lux Ohr, Uhrijuhla, Annankatu Five, Kalastaja, Kasarmin Valo and numerous other successful bands and projects, collaborator of Procession and best friend and benefactor of Tamara Abarzua, former A&R of Emissary Records, came into this world out of a certain orifice, exactly 43 years ago…

where the wild roses grow

The man, the legend who reportedly turned down careers both in the Finnish military, but also the modelling industry, to concentrate on his one true love… making mone… err, no, we mean, music.

How could anyone not fall in love immediately with such a gorgeous man?

kiss me I'm famous

On this momentous and monumental occasion, let us revisit some of Kim’s special moments…

Aaaaaaaaaaaand we’ll start with Kimi’s penchant for calling anyone who disagrees with him online an “internet commando”, while he himself bravely and courageously threatens people a coupla continents and oceans away from the safety of his computer:

nine years of justice prevailing

We’re guessing “Peter Vicar” must have misplaced his passport for the past nine years or so, unfortunately hindering his chances of travelling, booking tours, or holidaying in Ionian sea islands… mmmhm. Poor, poor thing. Not to mention that Chile is a long way away, you can’t really plan for the weather, strange customs, etc.

Moving on, let’s consider another classic moment… How  do you get rid of faulty CDs? Simple, you keep schtum, open pre-orders, send the faulty discs out and claim “there is absolutely nothing that can be done”…

there's still one bill left to pay, Kim

And finally, who cannot love an ode to one’s private parts?

Leaving you on that uplifting musical note, we wholeheartedly wish Kimi a very happy birthday… May idiots snatch all those faulty CDs on this special day, at full price, so you don’t have to sell them bargain-priced on tour…

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Celebrating 43 years of a noble and dignified life…

his highness, the lord of Lord Vicar is in the US!

Word has reached us, through the unlikeliest of channels, that Doom metal maestro, singer/songwriter and overall talented artist Kimi Kärki is in fact somewhere in the United States of A, spreading joy and wisdom to all those around him, and we don’t just mean his facebook spam posts. He may even be selling copies of his latest effort, who knows?

As surprised as we were by the news initially, once the dust had settled we were faced with the grim reality of Kimi’s potential motivation for such a trip… And then it hit us: He will use his position in the US as a stronghold from where to launch his merciless, unrelenting assault on those who cheated him and stole his fans’ money and are reported to reside in a sunny South American country!

This must be it!

He himself foretold of it, many (many) moons ago, in this post:

toothandclaw

We’re waiting with baited breath for Kimi’s next move… Will he enforce “justice”, or “tooth and claw”? His enemies must be scared s**tless, for sure. Such a formidable opponent, fearsome warrior and man of pure righteousness!

We are absolutely, 100% sure, he will exact revenge on those who tricked not just himself and his bandmates, but also his fans…

And, even if he does not, we get to call him “disproportionately big mouth, absolutely no trousers” for the rest of his pathetic life. We might even throw a “lying coward!” in, for good measure… It’s basically a win-win situation!

his highness, the lord of Lord Vicar is in the US!