While looking for footage from last week’s “acoustic evening”, we stumbled upon this gem where versatile cultural historian Kimi Kärki recites Bob Dylan and urges us to consider the commercialization of protest songs, in a video that captivates, delights and attempts to reconstruct your cerebral cortex… That manic madman’s stare! Ooh-hoo.
As a cultural and emotional counterpoint, here’s one of Kimi’s protest songs:
Some people believe it’s about his pr**k…
Reverend Bizarre posted a photo of an indecently underdressed, bleached blonde, severely made-up and pouting female on their facebook page, as she appears to be wearing the shreds of what used to be a band t-shirt…
Predictably, there was a flurry of comments by RB fans who wished to express their appreciation for the depicted merchandise model, but apparently the minds behind Reverend Bizarre (we’re using this combination of words reluctantly) were not pleased, and made their displeasure known…
This is not the first time the gentlemanly (and occasionally feminist) members of RB jump to the defense of a female who has ripped their band name to shreds (although this time a bit more literally), but we can’t help gawping in astonishment… What did they actually expect when they were posting such a photo?
In two almost consecutive facebook posts (-Two more facebook posts? Are you sure he’s a recluse, Gandalf? -That’s what he says, Frodo, so it must be true…), dull boy Sami Albert Hynninen has compared recording vocals for Spiritus Mortis to “work” that he would rather avoid, while maintaining that he’s “waiting for [the recording of vocals for Tähtiportti] with delight and excitement!”.
Hypocrisy? Yes, we think so. “As it should be clear to everyone who has been following his updates/posts on this site”.
…as long as he’s wearing a mask, and fronting a charting pop band, that is.
In yet another facebook post (he’s certainly making a few too many for a recluse), his Magisterial Highness expressed surprise at having been “healed somehow” and looking forward to performing shows with his brand new, Finnish album chart-bothering band Tähtiportti. Just not with long-serving, highly regarded yet not mainstream succesful doom metal legends Spiritus Mortis.
He can’t help it.
What could possibly be the deciding factor that separates Tähtiportti from Spiritus Mortis and makes it easy for Albertino to get up on stage with them? Could it be their album sales? Their wide appeal? Their Pet Shop Boys-aping? Perhaps Albert doesn’t like doom metal anymore, and prefers bland synthetic music that sounds like it was made with fruity loops presets? Or could it be that the audience at the Spiritus Mortis shows consists of the doom metal fans who have supported Albert throughout his 20-year career, instead of trend-following sheep, mindless teenagers and hipster scum?
Can someone who has read Tähtiportti’s rider confirm that Sir Albert requires his toast with extra butter on the side?
Remember that limited edition Reverend Bizarre t-shirt, with the image that looked like it was drawn by a 5-year old who got banned from sunday school for picking his nose? Your mum wouldn’t give you the money to buy it because she had already given you a small fortune to send to Sami and Kimi’s friends in Chile, and you had nothing to show for it…
Well, despair not, for Sami has made the design available again, as a patch! Which is surely another indication of the love he has for his fans, and definitely not because he’s a little low on cash or anything.
For as little as 4.90 euros, you can now wear this patch as your badge of honour, so everyone knows you love wanking and Reverend Bizarre… which are not the same thing.
And, if you so desire an appropriately stimulating read while waiting for your patch to pop through your letter box, bringing with it all sorts of kvlt kvdos and joy, have a look at the meaningful and factual discussion under the related post on Sami’s facebook page, proving beyond any doubt that Sami has indeed become a recluse, and shuns all online interaction, and not simply cowardly avoids his own forum anymore:
(click on comments)