Word has reached us, through the unlikeliest of channels, that Doom metal maestro, singer/songwriter and overall talented artist Kimi Kärki is in fact somewhere in the United States of A, spreading joy and wisdom to all those around him, and we don’t just mean his facebook
spam posts. He may even be selling copies of his latest effort, who knows?
As surprised as we were by the news initially, once the dust had settled we were faced with the grim reality of Kimi’s potential motivation for such a trip… And then it hit us: He will use his position in the US as a stronghold from where to launch his merciless, unrelenting assault on those who cheated him and stole his fans’ money and are reported to reside in a sunny South American country!
This must be it!
He himself foretold of it, many (many) moons ago, in this post:
We’re waiting with baited breath for Kimi’s next move… Will he enforce “justice”, or “tooth and claw”? His enemies must be scared s**tless, for sure. Such a formidable opponent, fearsome warrior and man of pure righteousness!
We are absolutely, 100% sure, he will exact revenge on those who tricked not just himself and his bandmates, but also his fans…
And, even if he does not, we get to call him “disproportionately big mouth, absolutely no trousers” for the rest of his pathetic life. We might even throw a “lying coward!” in, for good measure… It’s basically a win-win situation!