his highness, the lord of Lord Vicar is in the US!

Word has reached us, through the unlikeliest of channels, that Doom metal maestro, singer/songwriter and overall talented artist Kimi Kärki is in fact somewhere in the United States of A, spreading joy and wisdom to all those around him, and we don’t just mean his facebook spam posts. He may even be selling copies of his latest effort, who knows?

As surprised as we were by the news initially, once the dust had settled we were faced with the grim reality of Kimi’s potential motivation for such a trip… And then it hit us: He will use his position in the US as a stronghold from where to launch his merciless, unrelenting assault on those who cheated him and stole his fans’ money and are reported to reside in a sunny South American country!

This must be it!

He himself foretold of it, many (many) moons ago, in this post:

toothandclaw

We’re waiting with baited breath for Kimi’s next move… Will he enforce “justice”, or “tooth and claw”? His enemies must be scared s**tless, for sure. Such a formidable opponent, fearsome warrior and man of pure righteousness!

We are absolutely, 100% sure, he will exact revenge on those who tricked not just himself and his bandmates, but also his fans…

And, even if he does not, we get to call him “disproportionately big mouth, absolutely no trousers” for the rest of his pathetic life. We might even throw a “lying coward!” in, for good measure… It’s basically a win-win situation!

his highness, the lord of Lord Vicar is in the US!

A giant dump of greatness this way comes!

The entire recorded output of Kimi Kärki, aka Peter Vicar, aka Red-Rooster-holder, was released today on a single disc, as a single track.

Momentous leaps in technology achieved by Turku-based IT giant CoproTech made it possible to fit each and every song Kimi every recorded on a single disc, with no index numbers, which went on sale today as part of Sfart Records’ The Easter Bunny Presents budget-priced music collection.

Fans will be able to stick the CD in their player, lie back and enjoy Peter’s evolution as composer, singer and guitar player in an endless mind-bending journey…

According to the artist’s own press release, “What this means is that these albums have to be listened as a continuous journey, not album here, album there. This is at least the way I prefer it to be experienced, and as the discography takes only a bit more than a few days to listen, it’s not a huge test in patience, even in today’s world. Just close your eyes and try not to doze off!!!”

This special release is sadly not available on itunes.

EDIT, April 3rd 2017: This post was our feeble attempt at an April Fools. Obviously, if such technology existed, it would have been adopted by artists who actually shift units, not an ex-member of Reverend Bizarre. Our apologies to those who manifestly got excited in the comments section.

A giant dump of greatness this way comes!